is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
