ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
