Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
