happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
