taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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