He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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