His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize