I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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