He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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