we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
