Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
