I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
