What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
