Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
