my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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