It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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