he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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