The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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