I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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