he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
