he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
