its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
