I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
