you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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