I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
