Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
