Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
