if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
