I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
