went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
