i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
