I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have feelings that need drinking.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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