break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
