Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
