Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
