Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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