Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
