My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
