She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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