I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
