Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
