Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
