I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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