i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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