This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize