I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
