is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
