I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
