i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize