I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
