Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize