he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
