I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
