i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
