Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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