I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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