and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
