I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
BRING THE BAGELS
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
