Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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