Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish I only lived at night.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
