You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
