I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish I only lived at night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
