haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
