Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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