I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
