He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize