I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
