I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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