You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
