how hairy? two words: wookie tits
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Randomize
