sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
