Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
