Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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